1st Go * 2nd Go * 3rd, NO GO !

Let’s discuss what an “Apology” should look like, how it should be received, where and where an apology becomes necessary, the way it’s delivered and how the common apology as we know it is widely known by most as “I’m Sorry”.

The thrill & excitement of a, , , , , , , , , , , , “New Relationship/Friendship”

Giving chances, how many is to many?

  • 1 is a no brainer
  • 2 yes
  • 3 Na Nope No go 👎🏼

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  • I’m SORRY !

Let’s discuss what an “Apology” should look like, how it should be received, where and where an apology becomes necessary, the way it’s delivered and how the common apology as we know it is widely known by most as “I’m Sorry”.

“I’m sorry” is a worldwide go to for redemption and forgiveness.

Or should I say; A worldwide shortcut to thinking?

My thoughts on the word; Sorry as a way to describe ourselves is a not only terrible way of expressing an apology with any value; The word “Sorry” in definition, is demeaning to a beings character. With the definition of the word being what you’ll see below, why is everyone “SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING

sor·ry :
/ˈsärē,ˈsôrē/ adjective
adjective: sorry; comparative adjective: sorrier; superlative adjective: sorriest
  1. in a poor or pitiful state or condition.
  2. “he looks a sorry sight with his broken jaw”
unpleasant and regrettable, especially on account of incompetence or misbehavior.
“We feel so ashamed that we keep quiet about the whole sorry business”
  • I have always believed that word is almost offensive. When I have a need to apologize; Personally speaking, redemption is something that carries with it a very specific need for acknowledgment and understanding. An apology isn’t so much about or for the other being initially; the apology begins with (me) you.

I‘ll explain;

There are several key notes to consider when looking at and thinking (visual whole spectrum thinking) of the circumstances that surround a need for an apology.

  1. What was the discussion about?)
  2. At what point did the discussion turn into a quarrel ?)
  3. What was said that warrants an apology ?)
  4. Was the end result in offensive, or dishonorable ?)
  5. Are feelings hurt, were there tears ?).
  6. What Did You Do ‼️
  7. What could’ve you done differently (better) ?)
  8. Put Yourself in the other persons place, look at their perspective, consider their feelings as your own.)
  9. Now accept responsibility for your actions.)
  10. Apologize.


Example Apology

I have spent some time thinking about what lead up to my needing to not only apologize, but also remain conscious of my thoughts as to not repeat the same mistake again. You are valuable, how you feel is valuable, and where I am involved, creating a successful solution to repair and create a point of action (repair point log)

You are (we are) worthy of more than a quick demeaning (sorry). You are worthy of my recognition to determine why I was in the wrong. How I will honor our value not to repeat said mistake, is by always recognizing your value, and the value I (we) have invested in our relationship.

  • I Apologize for disregarding your thoughts and feelings by not listening and automatically assumed you were wrong. I invalidated you, didn’t listen (wasn’t attentive) and I am pretty sure I created a situation for you to feel hurt, angry, frustrated etc. You are my _______ and there is no replacement for you! I want to hear everything you want to say

I Apologize

There are so many circumstances that will warrant an apology, sometimes both party’s involved will need to acknowledge their need to determine an outcome that brings things full circle ⭕️ with feelings of gratitude and the credibility of being a caring, compassionate, and considerate human being, being human, creating Human’Unity full circle in all of your relationships !

  • Love is nothing without the depth and conscious consistency of CARE !

I urge everyone to please always communicate with the ones you love to care for. If you are a submissive type, you might find you never feel like you can talk or communicate, because the other “being” is a more dominant personality.

Please UNDERSTAND If you choose not to communicate, not to share your feelings. Dominate personalities will not know how you feel if you don’t show by reaction and never communicate, allowing the other being the opportunity to acknowledge and rectify the (action) !

Communication is everything. The lack of communication is a 111% guaranteed way to demolish, kill, dissolve a (relationship!) Don’t be blind, shallow, don’t live life in your subconscious. And PLEASE, IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, DETERMINE IF YOU CARE FOR THAT SOMEONE ENOUGH TO INVEST FULL CIRCLE ⭕️. FEELINGS MATTER. If you don’t communicate the end result is you didn’t and simply put, don’t care. If you are in a relationship without communication, have enough decency to tell the other being you are not able to be a part of the relationship. BYE.

If you were verbally abused or have experienced belittling in life, there comes a point where you take responsibility for your part. We are only where we allow ourselves to be. So, if you continue to involve yourself in a abusive relationship as an adult, that is all on you!

Believe that you are; Then you are what you Believe!

  • Believe you are brave, the more and more you demonstrate acts of bravery, the bigger and bigger your acts of bravery become and before you know it; You are brave and always communicating. Then you will find out how deep value go’s, for both of you. By communicating you learn, “wow if I wouldn’t have told you I’d have never know how much you care by how much care and consideration you’ve shown”.
  • Unity is so important. Don’t throw away anyone, if they are worth it, than so are you. If you’re able to throw people away, that is a whole different Blog topic.
  • You are worthy of the value you put on others. If you can throw people away, you are worthy of the garbage you demonstrate as the quality you hold. REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

©️ 2018 All Rights Reserved * Vanisha’Bella * Authentic Reality * Whatz Happenin

Author: Vanisha'Bella

Vanisha’Bella Izzarelli is a dynamic coach that inspires her clients to discover their own authentic reality. She guides them on a journey of acceptance, appreciation, and true peace using techniques that she has perfected over her own personal path and through years of mentoring. As a widow who survived the passing of several family members in a very short time period, Vanisha’Bella understands the realities of enduring true tragedy in life and then embracing the light beyond that. Her experiences have lead her to reach into the hardest parts of her clients’ experiences with true empathy. She is particularly skilled at deconstructing false walls and helping people move past their unhealthy defense mechanisms to embrace their (authentic reality) true self. To do this she developed a unique mirror image technique that guides clients to discovering, accepting, and embracing their whole self.

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